I've noticed that there are now more reported divorces amongst couples 65 and beyond in Singapore. Japan had a head start over us.
I remember reading 10 years ago that more Japanese elderly women are divorcing their retired husbands. It's manageable when these housewives only see their husbands in the nights and early mornings; but to have their retired husbands all day in the house is simply unbearable!!!
These housewives reminisce longingly when their husbands would spend their weekends with their golf buddies, but now are no longer fit for golf... Bad backs, bad knees... Ahhhh!!!
Perhaps instead of avoiding each other or going at each others' throats in their twilight years, if only these retired men can continue with hobbies or activities that take them outside the house during the day.
And that's what most of us forget.
We spend all our working lives planning our career moves and growing our passive cash flows to secure our "golden age" retirement.
I am not sure about the golden part... I thought our golden age is when we are young, fit, and healthy? For women it's in their 30s and men it's during our national service days. Or am I mixing sexual prime with golden age?
Anyway, back to life after retirement. The non-financial bits.
Don't assume your work buddies will be around to keep you company:
1) Colleagues may still be working (and you now no longer have networking benefits to offer)
2) Friends may no longer be in good health or they may have moved on to a better place
3) You may have become a grumpier and angrier bitter you. (And you wonder why people don't like your company?)
Imagine after years of "after thought", you now starts to "care" how your wife should do the laundry, tend to the garden, or how she does her marketing?
I know. I've made the same mistake after my return. 7 years of independent living has spoiled me.
I am now a Zen minimalistic guy who hates clutter; while mom is the same mom when growing up - she's a hoarder and never throws away anything!
So you can imagine the tensions she must have felt. The joy of having me back must have lasted only a few weeks until I start secretly throwing away her stuffs. LOL!
We now have our peace. My room she don't touch. And I become "blind" when I step out of my room.
She has not changed; I have.
People first, things second.
Guess what? The reason I can "see" everything in the house was because I was too free! Or to be precise, spending too many hours in the house.
Glad I'm back to my usual mix of activities. For that scary few weeks in the wilderness of not knowing what to do, it's not fun I assure you :(
Who knew that life after retirement is not about doing less?
It's like the noise cancelling technology - we need to come up with activities that can cancel out the ambient noise of:
a) Boredom
b) Sense of lose
c) Diminished self-worth
d) Desire to be needed
You can add your own to the list above!
Whether it's early or normal retirement (whatever that means), there's more to it than the financial part.
The soul bit is just as important ;)
Singapore Man of Leisure (welcome to my blog; just google it!)
