After asking this “what do you think?” question, how I would respond may depend on whether I am on a one-to-one situation or in a group setting.
Group situation
Newbie – If the question is so basic until I feel embarrassed for the enquirer, I would ask the rest of the group who can answer that question?
It kills 2 birds with 1 stone.
Remember our school days where there’s a teacher’s pet that is ever ready with the right answers? Yup, they are still with us as grown-ups. Some even end up as bloggers. Hey! Don’t look at me! I’m the class clown.
I cringe every time I see “it’s my passion to educate”. Brurrr….
This smart alec will feel happy he/she is “educating” his peers; and the enquirer will get the gentle message that he/she has come unprepared.
Plus it helps greater group interaction so I as facilitator can relax a bit. I save myself for more intellectually stimulating questions!
Think he/she knows – If I know his school of thought, I will quote from his “guru” to drop the hint I know where he is coming from. And I will follow-up by “I am sure you know” this and that complementary and opposite schools of thought.
The purpose is not to destroy the enquirer’s position or point of view; but to engender a bit of self-doubt within his over-confidence. He learns quickly what we meant by “beware the man of one book”!
But what if I have no freaking idea what school of thought or book this enquirer has read?
Now the eggs are on my face… Hey! I never said I am a know-it-all!
I would say “that’s a very interesting point you’ve brought up”, and ask the group how many shares that viewpoint?
If only a minority agrees or understand what talking him, phew! That means I am not the only one!
Then it’s just a matter of replying “I thank you for your interesting contrarian or alternative viewpoint. But it seems it’s not very mainstream… By the way, can you give me your source of reference so I can get back to you with a more complete reply?”
Now I will be prepared for the next group session in case this “cold door” (unpopular) school of thought’s disciple pops-up again!
But if the majority agrees, then I will use this Zen trick. I will pour water into an empty cup, and pour water to another cup that’s filled with water to the brim. (No props draw!)
This way, I can get the group’s understanding to “temporarily” pour out their prior knowledge to make space for what new ideas I am introducing. I can finish my sharing and we all can have a more productive Q&A session at the end without too many interruptions in-between.
Experts – If I sense this bugger is out to get me or likes the limelight, I would let him have the stage. The more he talks, the more he may put his foot in his mouth, or others in the group will ask him to sit down and stop showing off!
People are not stupid. (OK, some are!)
And if I find this expert has a very valid point to make, I couldn’t be happier! Nothing stimulates me more than an intellectual debate! (Honey, honey… of course I love you in your teddy more!)
I have to be conscious that I don’t neglect the rest of the group members so it does not become a 2 man show.
There’s a Chinese saying “no fight; no know friend”!
What do you think?
As you can see, the “newbies” and “experts” are much easier to communicate with. It’s the “think you know” that are murder!
“Scholar meets foot-soldier, how to bloody communicate?”
Do you have similar experiences?
One-on-one
Unless you are a recluse that has no human interactions, I shall leave it blank so you can have fun filling-in yourself.
I know you know I know you know the answers already!!!
Singapore Man of Leisure (welcome to my blog; just google it!)
