The inspiration for this article started when I suggested to another financial blogger to write a CPF article and pepper it with sexual references to push readership figures. He then said that his brain is too tired, so I challenged myself to write the most pornographic CPF article ever written in the financial blogosphere. If you get triggered too easily, you can always tune out of this blog and go watch a Hallmark Christmas movie instead.

a) Investing in CPF can be like visiting a special kind of prostitute.

If investors were Johns, I expect buying stocks is like visiting prostitutes who are good looking and generally give good Girl-friend Effect (GFE). The problem with equities as prostitutes is that in a particularly bad year like 2018, instead of giving the John a good time, the prostitute climbs on top of him and shits all over face. I have even learnt the